The line and the avocado

It's funny how one thought leads to another and before long you're thinking completely unrelated thoughts.

This morning in the wee hours, I was thinking about an avocado. Specifically, how I would like to eat an avocado, right then, perhaps with a bit of lemon juice and balsamic vinegar. I was reminded of my first job, where I made very little money but at the sandwich shop across the road I could get a huge salad roll for $5. And they were very generous with the avocado. 

Then I remembered the time I was waiting patiently to order my $5 sandwich and standing about a foot from the counter. Before I realised it, this young Asian student (there were a few Learn English colleges on the street) squeezed in front of me and placed his order. I gaped silently at his back, overwhelmed by his rudeness. What I should have done was bark shrilly and send him back to the line. Because of course, he didn't think he was pushing in, he just saw a vast tract of space at the counter and went to order his meal. 

Different cultures, different concepts of space. 

Having lived in Vietnam, I would have no compunction now in telling someone to get back in line! This is my spot! No anger required but a little drama is expected, perhaps a tossing of the head or a jerking of the thumb. Just for emphasis. 

As you do regularly at Hanoi Airport, for example, where 'lines' at the counter resemble hyenas jostling for a bite. No matter how close you think you are to the front of the line, someone will always try to push their trolley in front of you. Sometimes they'll just stand next to you at the check in counter as that's the safest bet. 

Which also occurs at the bank I used in Hanoi. A man appears next to me, watches my financial transactions with interest, his own cheque book in hand. I have to gesture to him to go back in the line and off he'd go. Whoever had more conviction usually won the battle. 

But of course, the concept of crowds and personal space takes on a new meaning when you're used to this...

And that's just regular peak hour traffic in Hanoi.

But truly, if you ever do visit Hanoi, there is one place you must avoid. I'm not talking about the bear bile farms near Halong Bay or the dime-a-dozen brothels on every other corner (though please steer clear of those too). But if you value your sanity, avoid METRO. This German-owned supermarket is an Aldi-style affair, where you can buy discounted items in bulk. It's a novel concept for Hanoians. 

But don't be tempted! The staff are rude, they only take cash and you will publicly mocked for bringing your own recycled shopping bags. But of course, the piece de resistance are the checkout lines. Do not try this alone. One person wields a swinging bat to keep marauding trolleys and would-be queue-jumpers sneaking in from all directions. The other fends off shopping items thrown in front of your items on the conveyor belt by throwing them back at their owners. Do not pause for breath or pity for the sweet-looking granma on the left. She's likely only a front for that pushy family three trolleys back.

Finally, you emerge, exhausted but triumphant, carting your six-pack of star-shaped ice cube trays and squashed leg of imported Aussie lamb. 

And that's where my avocado thoughts end. 

Another long day...

Maya is on the jet lag from hell and I am her unwilling accomplice. Her body clock is completely topsy turvy. Last night, we were both up and down from 11.30pm to 5am. Wow, it was hard. I did everything I could think of, many times over - feedings, nappy changes, fresh dummies, singing and rocking, read stories, played quietly in the dark. I kept thinking: she must be tired now! And Maya would rub her eyes and so I'd put her down to sleep. Quiet for ten minutes, then little cries and fusses... and eventually I'd go back in and she'd be standing in the corner of her cot, her little head just visible, big eyes peering up at me.

We both crashed out from 5-9am, then I got her up, breastfed and popped her in the pram for a 40 minute walk in the fresh air. I was beat. I don't know where I get the energy to do these things. 

But I've read that fresh air and sunshine are two of the best things to combat jet lag. As are active play (exercise for baby), regular meals and lots of water. Our doctor also told us today to try melatonin (dietary supplement) - 1.5mg at bedtime to help her sleep. We bought some immediately. I only hope it does help!

Were we sans Maya, we'd get over the jet lag in a few days. I'd stay up late watching old movies, make breakfast at 2am and sleep in in the mornings. It would be leisurely and stressless. Oh, the days of old!

When we left Santiago, Maya had been 'sleeping through the night' (that magic phrase!) for about a month - a solid 12 hour sleep for her and at least eight hours uninterrupted sleep for me. I had forgotten how proper sleep transforms one's day. Then while we were in Australia, she woke a lot in the night and we got into some bad habits, as happens when you're away from home.

So, it may take a little nudging to get back on track. Speaking of which, it's time for me to turn in. Here's hoping it's for slightly longer than last night...

Travels with baby - Do's and don't's with a 10 month old

I was thinking about this post on the interminable flight back to Santiago - part a doleful reminder to myself and part for other parents making a brave voyage with baby. A build on to my other post - though I think az's words at the end sum it up!

Pre-flight

DO get as much rest at home as you can in the 2-3 days before flying. 

DON'T count on baby sleeping much on the flight. If you're lucky, they'll sleep half the time. If you're unlucky, neither of you will sleep at all. We were unlucky. 

DON'T run around madly in your last couple of days shopping and visiting friends (as we did).

DON'T plan farewell drinks/dinner on your last night (as we did).

DO take baby panadol/dummies/sippy cup/food sachets for baby on plane.

DO stock up on disposable nappies for the trip - we used eight over a 18 hour trip but 10-12 would have been safer.

DO bring a couple of muslin cloths to artfully drape as curtains across the seats and limit distractions for baby. 

DO expect to feed baby A LOT.

DO wear a feeding singlet to keep your tummy warm and minimise flashing of flesh to your neighbours. 

The flight

DO ask if there are any spare seats available - the air hostesses will usually oblige. We grabbed the last two spare seats together and thank god for that is all I can say. 

DO buy baby a seat if you can afford it - we hadn't but certainly will next time, even if we have to lie about her age!

DON'T bother with a bassinet if baby is over six months - they'll likely hate it. No room to stretch or turn, and it completely blocks both seats.

DO consider NOT sitting in the front row - yeah, you get extra leg room but it's not much point if you can't reach your bags on the floor because baby is sleeping on your lap. Go with a spare seat instead. The ones further back also have movable arm rests.

DO hand baby over to the air hostess or a kindly neighbour so you can go to the bathroom/stretch your legs/have a moment to yourself.

DON'T feel guilty about doing this whatsoever, even if they cry.

DO remind yourself that this will all be a blurred memory in a few days.

Post flight

DON'T kid yourself that 'the journey' is over once you get home. Sorry. It isn't. 

DO be glad to walk in the front door though. No matter how nice holidays are, living out of a suitcase (or several with a baby) gets rather wearying. 

DON'T expect to get over the jet lag in a couple of days. Likely, it'll take up baby up to a week. Best prepare yourself for this.  

DO encourage baby to sleep when its dark but DON'T expect that she will for the first couple of days. 

DO expect to be up at 3am playing or doing the washing while baby crawls around. 

DO get some sleep when baby sleeps - morning or night. Even if you can't sleep, lie down and try to relax.

DO give baby lots of fluids day and night.
DO open up the windows for fresh air and sunlight - active playing/walking/exercise is far more beneficial than watching tv... even if that's what you'd rather be doing. Take baby out for a walk in the evening when it's cool.

DO feed baby at local mealtimes with an extra feed before bedtime so she doesn't wake hungry in the middle of the night. 

DON'T worry if they don't want to eat or don't eat much at mealtimes. Offer a snack later on. 

DON'T try to be a super mum - take care of yourself and get as much rest and water as you can!

There and back again

When I woke up this afternoon, it took a minute to work out the time and day. Sunday afternoon. The last 24 hours we've basically been sleeping. That's mainly because the preceding 24 hours, we didn't sleep much at all. 

The one Sydney-Santiago flight is during the day which makes it hard to sleep. Particularly for Maya, who when she's awake is wide awake, as in a wide-eyed, caffeine-fueled, about to go into battle, state of alertness. And she can be like that even after a five minute kip. Which will serve her well in 30 years time when she's a highly paid doctor having a nap between surgeries (or one of many other lucrative careers her parents will nudge her into!) but is not the best state of mind for little babies on long flights. 

At the airport, we tried in vain to upgrade Maya and I with flyer points (business upgrades for normal people is somewhat of an urban myth, I think). Az still had his business seat so we ended up taking turns upfront and it worked out rather well. At least az and I got some rest (and some semi decent food) in between trying to settle Maya, who averaged about one hour's sleep per six hours. Poor pet. 

She didn't cry, she just squirmed around, got distracted by everyone and basically refused to close her eyes. We fed and soothed and sang and changed her nappy so many times but nothing really worked. Around 18 hours all up and it was a killer. Will NOT be doing that again for a good long time. I am extending my do's and don't's list for the whole 'travel with baby' experience so watch this space!

Somewhere along the way, Maya picked up a sniffle. I'm not one of those mothers who won't let anyone touch my child for fear they'll contract some disease. I mean, come on. Airports and flights are full of germs. It's stressful but it happens. In Hanoi airport, a woman kissed Maya's bare foot like she was the Pope or something! People just want to reach out and touch a little chubby, waving hand. I'll give Maya over to a delighted stewardess when I go to the bathroom. When we got off the plane in Santiago, she was surrounded by seven stewards and stewardesses, all cuddling and kissing her goodbye. 

As a result, Maya is perfectly relaxed being held by strangers and doesn't get all clingy and stressed in new environments. She makes friends with everyone and it makes my life a little bit easier. 

But she does pick up the occasional cold. So, I lather her hands in anti-bacterial gel and disinfectant where possible. Living in Vietnam gave me compulsive cleaning habits. I carry those little bottles of anti-bac gel everywhere.

Now, Maya's had her bath and gone down for the night. She'll probably wake a few times in the night for more feeds, doses of baby panadol and nose cleans. It's possible she's got a bit of teething pain as well so there are dummies standing by in the freezer and bonjela teething gel on hand too. Az and I will order some sushi, watch a quick episode of something and then crash as well. Zzzzzzz...

I need a holiday after this holiday

One more day until we head back to Santiago. You'd think after a month in Australia we'd be so relaxed, as you usually are after a long holiday back home. Truth be told, I'm beat. We've been running around madly, visiting people, shopping, dinners, movies, lunches, etc. It's all fun but it takes a toll. 

And at 12 months old, I think Maya's had enough too, poor pet. She's such a trooper but the last couple of nights have been bad cause she's not had her proper naps during the day and there's been so many people around etc. 

I've always been a bit of a sleep nazi when it comes to Maya's nap routine but it's kind of hard to do when you're not in your own home.

So I'm writing this to remind myself of some home truths next time we take flight on holiday...

DO keep her home for at least the morning or the afternoon so she can have one proper nap a day.

DO have super early dinners and put her into bed by 8pm at the latest, preferably with her bath routine.

DO have lunches out instead of dinners.

DO keep up her fluids (water and milk) all day long.

DO let her have sleeps in the car where possible (if out and about), even if that means driving round in circles for an hour. 

DON'T go out for more than 3-4 hours a day.

I asked az for his input here. He said:

DON'T go on holiday.

DO stay home.

A little bit of me time

Finally that wretched essay is over! I put a bloody lot of work into it and now it's done, dusted and emailed away. I was pretty happy with the end result and it's worth 50% of the unit so I guess it warranted the effort. 

But at last, I can enjoy the last week of my holiday at home...

Cooking. Lamb roast. Filet mignon. Beef stew. BBQ. Salads. Maybe some osso bucco (yum). Watching tv. I don't care what's on. Maybe that UK home renovation show or Glee. Lots of cups of tea and tim tams curled up on the couch reading the newspapers. Reading anything really, that isn't a paper on business ethics. Buying books and posting them snail mail back to Chile. Afternoon naps. Listening to the rain and the cockatoos outside and playing online scrabble. Lunches and coffees with friends. Shopping. Mostly for Maya's winter wardrobe. Drinking red wine in the evenings with family and friends. Making plans for the future. 

All fun stuff. Guilt-free. 

I got my hair cut the other day and feel like a new woman. I haven't had it cut since Maya was born! Terrible, I know but I just don't know where to go in Santiago and don't feel confident with my lack of espanol. I had a couple of hairdressing mishaps in Hanoi and am now shy of hair cuts in foreign lands. 

Now I just need some new clothes and am set for winter in Santiago. Oh, and an electric blanket. 

The wheels on the bus

go round and round. One of those nursery rhymes we listened to as kids on the record player and I now sing to Maya. Although it's quite the stereotypical song (evidently apt in the 70s) - apparently babies go "wah wah wah", mummies say "shush shush shush" and daddies shout "stop that noise!" while stomping their big daddy feet. Hmmm.

Buses in Canberra go round and round. And round some more. And that's not just because most of Canberra is made up of roundabouts. 

Yesterday Maya and I took the bus to my sister's place - a meandering journey through identical neighbourhoods and past government buildings with skulking smokers grabbing a furtive puff under the trees (smoking is illegal on government grounds so you really need to go stand on the street or perhaps - brainwave! - give up smoking altogether. Then call the hotline and here's a free fridge magnet). 

 (Maya on the bus with Moosey #2)

Catching a bus in Canberra is a perfectly pleasant activity if you have nothing better to do with your day. But if you stop to think about it, you will only get annoyed with how unproductive your day is. Then you will get narky with the whole dismal system that is ACT public transport. Then you'll say stuff this, climb into your 4WD and return to your life of productivity and trying to find a parking spot. 

I digress. I do that a lot these days. Maya and I had a perfectly nice bus trip, over bridges and roundabouts and past Parliament House which always reminds me of Bill Bryson's book Down Under and his hilarious chapter on Canberra:

Bryson and Proud Tourist are outside, looking up at Parliament House. 
Proud Tourist: "Largest aluminium structure in the Southern Hemisphere!"

Bryson: "And are there many others competing for the honour?"

Ha ha ha.

All together now

Az arrived in Canberra on Sunday and it is lovely to have him here. I think it's always a little bit harder for the person staying at home; while I missed him of course, I didn't literally have time to feel lonely cause looking after Maya solo has kept me so busy. 

But it is great to be able to share the load. Just being able to say "Can you get me a glass of water?" while I'm breastfeeding, or "Can you play with Maya while I get the bath ready?" - and then sitting down to a leisurely dinner while someone else gives her a bath... what a concept. I love it. 

This week, I have a few precious days to finish my essay. We are staying in a serviced apartment and az is working days so that just leaves the evenings. We've parked the travel cot in the living area which means we have to retire to the bedroom by 7.30pm and speak in whispers. Jet lag kicks in and az is snoring by 8pm. And then it's free time for me...

Of course more than anything, it's great to be able to share this time together because of the 'firsts'. Maya is almost 10 months and she's having the time of her life. She's our first baby and it's amazing to watch how much she's learning and growing everyday. 

Pulling herself up on all the furniture, 'cruising' and almost taking independent steps. Opening drawers and cupboards and climbing over cushions. You can see her figuring things out and trying new ways of reaching/grabbing/getting that tantalising, off-limits, electrical wire. Flipping through her board books 'reading' on the floor. Babbling constantly, particularly her favourite catchall word 'a-ba'. Planting wet kisses on my cheek, grabbing handfuls of my hair and sticking her fingers into my ears. Throwing her arms around my neck when I pick her up. Smiling and waving to everyone, she is so friendly and happy. 

And more than anything else, she wants to hang out with Mummy and Daddy. It's precious time and I'm glad we're here together to share it.

Doom and gloom

Like everyone else, I'm watching the devastating images of giant waves sweeping across the Japanese coast in the aftermath of yesterday's earthquake. Scary stuff. 

But these natural disasters keep coming, don't they? Earthquakes aren't climate change but the flooding in Queensland and Victoria is definitely related. And these 'natural' disasters are going to happen over and over, with greater frequency, around the world. And it's not just the developing countries feeling the impacts either anymore. 

Meanwhile, the Australian pollies are squabbling over a carbon tax. Get real people! You are such a pathetic lot. Either do something about it - and it's a very little far too late - or get working on that slushy fund for all the future 'emergencies' Australia's going to be facing over in the very near future. Just quit harping on about how 'we need to take action on climate change'. Please. As if any of you give a rat's bum. It's just pass the buck, I don't want to deal with it. God forbid I should get voted out of office or taken down like my predecessor for doing some leaderly. Ha, wouldn't that be ironic.

That's my rant. It's great how other countries offer financial aid but it's kind of like pass the parcel. Japan gave generously to Australia for the Qld floods, now we're handing it back. I wonder, as these disasters become more prevalent, whether countries will become more or less generous with each other?

I don't mean to be flippant. Living in Chile now, the threat of an earthquake has become a very real possibility and I don't enjoy that thought. It used to be said (in Australia at least), that you're more likely to be hit by a bus than eaten by a shark. Cheery, I know but the sighting of a Great White shark in summer time empties a beach faster than you can say 'free beer'. Which is pretty fast. Now perhaps there's a new spin on that saying - death by climate change disaster tops death by dodgy bus drivers.

And that is a weekend thought for you. Meanwhile, Maya is still poorly and neither of us is sleeping well. But Daddy arrives tomorrow so it's all good in our world. My thoughts to Japan x

Bugs and wriggling frogs

Poor Maya has a throat bug and is on antibiotics. Little pet. I'm giving her generous doses of cuddles and homeopathic baby panadol (which contains no paracetemol so I don't know what is in it) as well. And lots of sleep. Which actually works out well for me as I can finally get stuck into my essay. 

Not that there should be a silver lining to having a sickly child but you have to look on the positive side. 

Maya is such a trooper. It is far, far easier giving her her medicine than changing her nappy (and did I mention she has a particularly potent case of the runs these days?) It's like putting a nappy on a wriggling frog. In contrast, she is thrilled every time I get out the medicine dropper and I almost can't fill it up fast enough before she wrenches it out of my hands and slurps out every drop. And then sucks on the other end for good measure. 

And Maya was great at the doctors too, waving enthusiastically at everyone in the waiting room and beaming at the doctor even while he prodded her stomach and stuck things in her ears and throat.

She reminds me of our beautiful labrador Ben, who died a few years ago. He was the loveliest, friendliest, most exuberant dog. While every other animal I know absolutely hates going to the vet, Ben just adored it. The sweet smells of disinfectant and other doggies was pure joy. He would even try to sneak in there on occasions when out for a walk. And the attention of the vets and nurses was well worth the pinch of a needle.

Not that Maya is a fan of needles. She screams blue murder then five minutes later has forgotten all about it. It is far harder at this age for me I think. I am dreading her 12 month shots. At six months, the nurse at Clinica Alemana in Santiago really stuck the needles in hard and she had bruises on both arms for weeks. You'd think they'd be super gentle with babies so it was really hard to watch.

But if she is going to be sick, I'm glad we're home and not in Chile. Maya can see her own doctor, everything's in English and there's some mighty fine Thai food across the road. Red duck curry... is there anything yummier?

Sniffles in Canberra

I am sitting here watching a soft rain falling outside and listening to the screeching cockatoos in the trees - Canberra really has great birdlife. I'm just loving the rain after the endless hot dry days in Santiago. Does it ever rain there?? The house is all quiet, Maya is having her morning nap and I've been working on my essay. I just wish I could keep going all day on it and really make some progress. But she's likely to be up soon. 

It's finally dawned on me that Maya's a bit under the weather. That would account for her wakefulness in the night, general clinginess and slightly less gusto in wolfing down her food. I blame my somewhat muddled brain and tiredness for not noticing it sooner (insert guilty mummy here). So, I'm taking her to the doctor this afternoon for a general check up and hopefully he can put my mind at ease. She probably needs more sleep, fluids etc. We have been running around a lot of late, as you tend to do, visiting family and friends on holiday. 

Incidently, the doctor's surgery is right opposite a very yummy Thai restaurant! And there's a fancy wine shop around the corner... Amber and I will be eating well tonight :)

I needs me spinach

At 4.30 this morning I would happily have signed the adoption papers and handed Maya to her new family. Why do things almost seem the worst at that bleak hour of the morning? And why do babies always cry at that yawanable hour?

After one night of normal sleep, Maya was back to her wake up for one hour and cry routine. She makes the most pitiful howls which escalate into extreme screaming if I don't go into her. There's usually nothing actually wrong - crying ceases as soon as I pick her up. The difficult part of travelling is that I can't use the cry it out (CIO) method and so I've lost the upper hand. Baby knows this and then it's just a matter of wills. 

We are staying with our lovely friend Amber, who assures me she can sleep through anything and the neighbours won't hear a thing so I'll be using CIO a bit more in an effort to break some bad habits. 

Maya has also gotten too used to being picked up and carted about during the day. Partly because she's so extremely cuddable but she also now has this habit of screaming blue murder, lying face down on the floor, tears pouring down her cheeks and often bleating "ma ma ma" just to twist those heartstrings a little tighter. Oh dear.

I'm so tired these days. It's lovely being home in general but I am exhausted from the effort of taking care of Maya 24/7. I cannot wait for az to arrive on Sunday so I can plonk baby in his arms and possible take myself off to a mental asylum for a couple of days. 

I needs me spinach. Where's Popeye these days?

It's the little things

It's always the little things you miss most about a place. Here we are back in Sydney and Maya's been on her up with the birds phase this week - so hope that fades soon - and so, I get up as soon as it's light and take her out for a walk in the pram. It's probably 6.30am. 

We go to the nearest big park and pass on the way joggers and dog walkers and everyone smiles and says hello. I might stop at one of the cafes along the way for an almond croissant. Then we sit on the grass, watch the dogs chase balls, and Maya crawls about and puts leaves in her mouth. 

I can't do this in Santiago. For starters, there would be no one on the street. Any Chileans up at that hour would be staying up, not getting up. Cafes don't dream of opening before 10am - breakfast, what's that? And Santiago is a dog city - any patch of grass is for dogs to poo and pee on and most owners don't carry doggie bags with them. So no early morning grass crawls and visits to the park for Maya. 

We're spending a few days in Sydney before driving to Canberra on Sunday. And we're staying in one of those rare inner-city Sydney 'burbs where people know their neighbours and kids ride their bicycles around the streets and play on the footpaths. 

I never see kids playing on the streets of Las Condes. A friend said her kids were told they weren't allowed to ride their bikes in the parking lot of our building because 'it was a bad look'. I mean, c'mon. Where the hell are they supposed to play? The boring parks no doubt. I'd rather the shouts of kids over the drone of cars anyday. 

And I've missed my Asian food - Sydney has some of the best food in the world. So fresh and cheap. All countries welcome. You can find anything here. Five long months without Thai food. Now that's just wrong. 

Travels with baby - don't do it solo!

I've been wanting to post all week but this is the first chance I've had. That's the trouble with travelling - none of your usual creature comforts abound. I've finally gotten my mobile internet working - internet is dismal in Australia compared to the rest of the world - but I still need to get an adaptor for my laptop charger. Oh, and my child has been all absorbing 24/7.

So, the flight. It was hell. Delayed for hours in Santiago, then Auckland, then in a holding pattern circling round Sydney. Long, long flight. Tired, tired baby. In all, she was pretty good, only let rip a couple of times from sheer exhaustedness and frustration. I cried more than she did. The LAN hostesses (who were really lovely on the Chile-NZ leg) took her off my hands a few times so I could go to the bathroom and when I came out, Maya would be down the back in the food/standing area, happy as Larry, waving and making friends with everyone. And then she did sleep for a bit - lying full length across me.

The last few days have been full on too - with Maya waking in the night, up at the crack of dawn and napping sporadically during the day. My days are super long and I hold out for nap time so I can grab a cup of tea and maybe even (gasp!) a quick skim of the newspaper. Walks in the park, shopping expeditions for baby essentials (she doesn't like the baby food here - oh no!) and squeezing in much-overdue phone calls to friends.

The joys of travelling with baby. If you must do, don't go it alone. But if you find yourself in such a situation, breathe deeply and think of a happy day (in about five years perhaps) when you'll be flying completely solo, with a glass of wine and the latest movie on hand, and won't that be sweet.